count down...

This is the first day of the last week of the first year of my first son's life.

I think that's worth blogging about.

a marathon not a sprint

The next time you find yourself looking out to the horizon consider this - how many boundaries are there between you and it and what are they?

A 30 second discussion with colleagues, looking out over a view from behind our offices, threw up these answers:

1. Lots - too many to specify
2. Physical boundaries: Fences, walls, trees, hedges, rivers, cows, private property. Personal boundaries: health/fitness, purpose/drive/motivation, navigational skills

I asked the question because I had been out for a run that morning. It wasn't going well until I realised that I had my focus on the ground in front of me. My drive was simply to cover distance but I needed more than that. I looked up and, in doing so, found motivation in the beauty of my surroundings. It probably helped a great deal as it meant I opened up my airways and improved my posture but gave profound mental and spiritual benefits too.

Suddenly I went from regretting every pace to wondering if I could keep going until I reached the horizon...and that's when I began noticing the boundaries. All of the things that would prevent me from getting there.

Until God stepped in.

Yeah, but look again at the bigger picture. Isn't it beautiful?

The scene before me became a living analogy for the race I'm running. The path marked out and the God given design on my life. It's not always going to be a level track on even ground. There will be times when what's underfoot throws me off balance. Occasions when I come up against barriers that I need to overcome or circumnavigate. There will even be moments when I lose sight of the horizon completely as I work my way down one side of a valley to get up the next.

I am not taking part in the 100m final. This is cross country.

I wrote this for you

I would stay up all night, every night for you.

I want to be there in every moment to share all time with you.

I recognise that there will be some challenges that you will need to face and overcome on your own - despite wanting me there.

I know there will be times when I will want to be there - when all you want is to step out on your own.

I’m not the Father spoken of in Psalm 139 but nonetheless I am blessed - for He has given you to me as my son and when the day comes that you call me ‘dad’ I will no doubt be unable to describe how that feels.

But I will spend my life showing you.

Through the peaks and the valleys. On the way up and back down. In the big and the small.

I want you to know

• I will always be with you.
• I will always be for you.

big picture/fine detail

A friend of mine is faced with a decision. A decision with two options. The problem is that both options are incredibly similar and so he is a little thrown. Chatting it over it seems to be that, to reach a conclusion, he can only rely on what he wants.

Is it that simple? That seems so selfish.

We discussed everything from the money and location to friends and family...but it all came out as swings and roundabouts.

I know what I'd do in his situation but it's not my decision to make. It seems what is incredibly important to me is a minor element for him.

What are your defining factors?

it's been a long time

Once again I've neglected to keep this up to date but with good reason. Apparently the most stressful things you can do include:

• changing job
• moving house
• starting a family

In the last half a year we have experienced the first two and the third is due any minute now.


Here's to life never being the same again.

the reason for the season

With excitement and anticipation thoughts of tomorrow hang in the forefront of minds the world over. Normally the theme will be along the lines of 

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

but can I prompt you to change that perspective just for a moment at least?

Set aside all your filters and watch this.

Done that?

Awesome. At this point feel free to go. I'm not sure I've got anything to add but - if you are wanting a little more - hold onto that perspective just for a moment and read this. If it's too much in one go then just try this on for size.

Of course, all of this could possibly be over familiar or seemingly irrelevant but the point is that there's a much bigger picture to all of this. One that Jesus lived out over the course of 33 years (or so) but that God began way back and is still laying out today so, wherever you stand on 'faith' can I challenge you on one last thing? In amongst all of the stuff and noise of tomorrow consider where you've been and where you are going. Take a step back and look at your life as a whole. What story is it telling? What's the big picture and what is your motivation in the daily detail?

on the first day...

My true love gave to me - a Wayne's World CD.


I'm constantly surprised when one of my senses awakens such vivid memories. As soon as I began playing it I was transported back to a holiday where my family did a house swap with a family from Dorset. Their house had a loft conversion which I nabbed and lived in for the week. The room was full of CDs and videos which I went through but one I played almost daily was the Wayne's World soundtrack. It was a time in my life when I was exploring what my own tastes were and this certainly hit the spot. I loved that film - much to my mum's dismay - and still do...not sure what that says about me.


Other memories tied into this holiday were a trip to a sea-life centre that had a touch pool, picking up a (comparatively) massive crab was simultaneously horrifying and exciting; my first taste of Nesquick, another moment my mum seemed to regret; and a walk down to Durdle Door.


That place is amazing, captivating and, when my wife and I recently revisited it, apparently still just as awe inspiring. The door itself is massive. One of those 'much bigger in real life' things. The vast ocean that it leads out into suddenly puts a whole other perspective on the scene. And then there's the thoughts of the creator of all of this...

how (not) to move house - God does it His way (part 4)

Surely this was the easiest bit? As mentioned before - we sell, he buys. Easy. For one reason or another it never is. Days passed and it eventually got to the day before we needed to sell or would simply be out of pocket. I had been invited to a men's prayer breakfast. My friend rather boldly claimed "of course it would work! A couple of weeks ago we prayed for my sister and brother-in-law's place and they got it that day." Again...my thoughts fell on 'can't hurt to try.'


Up at 6am, breakfasting, praying, enjoying a good start to the day. I did leave feeling positive but it's funny how a deadline can soon change that. Approaching lunch I had a chat with a work mate about it all which finished with him encouraging me to "name it and claim it!"


"TODAY I WILL SELL MY HOUSE!"


No sooner had the words left my mouth but my phone rang. It was the solicitor. It was Monday 31st October. To avoid all manner of complications we had to sell before 1st November. On Friday 28th our solicitor had assured us that exchange and completion on the same day is very rare. Something to do with the process having to take 5 working days.


"Hello, this is your solicitor...it's all happening a little backwards isn't it?"
"...yes?"
"Well - the buyer's solicitors have already paid us but I am in fact calling you to check over some details and make sure you still want to sell."

Do you see now why I wrote 'reality'?

God is the same God yesterday, today and forever. My God is the God that created the universe and conquered death. If He says 'move' of course He's going to get my house sold.

But the story hasn't finished yet. In fact I feel like we're only just getting going. My only hope is that when He reveals the next part of His plan to us I won't have that 'can't hurt to try' thought preventing the clarity that comes with faith.

how (not) to move house - God does it His way (part 3)

The offer on the house dipped a little below the line. We didn't want to lose this buyer but needed more than was on the table. We talked, prayed and decided on a number. As an aside this happened to be a number I had thought of when first considering selling. Unfortunately I had brushed this aside feeling it didn't make sense and that I'd probably just plucked it out of the air.

The buyer accepted! Not just that but he was a cash buyer. We sell, he buys. House selling doesn't get more simple.

Hang on...have I said 'praise God' yet?

PRAISE GOD!

Now all we need to do is find a place for us. Something the following weeks revealed not to be so simple. Returning to that initial prompt time and again we trawled the options but there just wasn't anything. Sat at my laptop one evening I searched 'Christian places to rent'. My attitude was one of 'can't hurt to try' but, once again, God reveals Himself in a way that makes me sit up and take note.

The first place was ideal. The price was everything we had hoped for. Perhaps more unbelievably was that the couple who had posted it had only decided to do so the night before we found it. We got in touch straight away, ran with it and that is where we are now living.

We just needed the exchange and completion to go through...

how (not) to move house - God does it His way (part 2)

The initial shell shock of having made such a decision soon wears off and you naturally begin to try and 'manage' the situation - 'damage limitation' as it's also known.

One thing was clear - a drop in regular income would mean needing to sell the house. Thinking abstractly this all worked nice and neatly for me. Among other things it was coming to the end of our initial mortgage agreement so there was a feeling of coming full circle. Like the closure of one part of your life leading into the opening of a new part.

'Reality' was very different however. You'll learn the reason for putting that in inverted commas as you continue reading (God is definitely not limited by what we might see as insurmountable issues). Approaching those in the know ie estate agents the feedback we got was pretty much "you couldn't have chosen a worse time to sell your house, and the less said about the time frame the better." But we had made this decision so pressed forward.

A few months passed...

While on holiday we discussed our options. Clearly the best way of getting interest was to drop the price. We had a bottom line we didn't want to cross as this would most likely mean making a loss and probably having to pay more out of the money we wouldn't have to get rid of it. Until my wife made the observation that we had been praying intermittently about it but not regularly. She suggested that we do so and we became more expectant, assured that a buyer was out there.

While looking at our numbers again I came across a completely untouched envelope tucked in amongst everything else. Considering I open all letters as soon as I pick them up off the doormat this was slightly unnerving. Inside it was a letter from our mortgage lender saying that they are scrapping all early repayment charges on old mortgages like our own. Sorry? thousands of pounds and you don't want it?! Ok then. With this new information we decided on a number we felt we could manage and immediately received an offer.

how (not) to move house - God does it His way (part 1)

Another title for this post could well be "An unusual journey/in the world - not of it"


Earlier this year my wife and I felt God was setting some stuff in motion. Some decisions needed to be made. Of course, when making life changing decisions, it's normal to need some degree of control over it. Tied into the prompt though was a much bigger/deeper need. That of faith. And this is how it is going - are you sitting comfortably?


Our church leader brought together a group of young adults with the hope of empowering/enthusing/enabling us to make some faith led decisions and responses to what God might be wanting to do with us. We focussed on the story of Peter walking on water and what Jesus commanded of him, how he responded and what he needed in that situation.


My wife and I discussed this, both understanding that this wasn't just an opportunity for working out the theory. The 'what if' was to become reality. The initial step was recognising that there has been a dream and desire that my wife has held onto since an early age. It was her motivation for going to uni and is something she endeavours to pursue in her own time. Now it was time to push for forming that into a reality which meant handing in notice to her current employer.


Done - that was easy.


A few days later we found out she was pregnant...help! So this is where the faith comes in?


As I have learned before, God's timing is not necessarily synched with my own but His wisdom goes way beyond. Really though?! Ok...let's keep pressing on.

cloud shapes

When was the last time you lay somewhere and just allowed yourself to stare up into the sky spotting clouds that look like something else? There's one cloud formation that seems to catch my eye more than most - other than big bad thunder clouds - is this one. I can't help but think of beaches on which I tread where the tide has retreated. It leaves a rippled effect almost like a cast in the sand of the very motion of the waves.


Yet here it is in the sky thousands of feet above my head.

I am constantly in awe of water. At least, I think it's water that I'm referring to. All the states and forms it comes in. From the effect extreme heat has on it to the beautiful ways it moulds itself at the opposite end of the scale.

How...and why can one thing be found in so many different ways?

the this bone is connected to the that bone and the...other one fits...here?

I love dinosaurs. Always have. Adventures with grandparents that involved the London underground and the Natural History museum have had a lasting affect. From the Plesiosaur to the Dilophosaur these creatures never failed to capture my imagination. I would surround myself with them: books, films, board games and of course toys. Mine was an unquenchable intrigue.


And so it is that even today, as a grown man, I will still sit on the edge of my seat, silently watching anything that reveals new information about this lost world. This time it's the turn of the BBC's Planet Dinosaur...and unfortunately the first time I've found myself thinking "really?"


They tell us about the leaps and bounds in recent discovery over the last 20 years, with regards to new species, and further evidence which ties in with previous knowledge...but then present this to us with tenuous links hoping we won't notice as we are drawn into fancy graphics. Maybe I've been spoilt. I was nurtured into nature through the likes of Terry Nutkins and the Really Wild Show team. These quality programmes were quickly followed by the phenomenon of David Attenborough who has since gone on to present ever improving documentaries himself utilising the latest in photo and film technology.


I don't need 3D. I don't even need HD. I'm a believer but I need to get my teeth into something that I can chew.

light and dark

I believe I'm right in thinking that darkness cannot exist where there is light. They are not equal in being opposites. Shine a torch into a dark room and you can see where you are going but you can't remove light by bringing dark. At this point please feel free to comment and share your knowledge of the physics of light and dark and educate me with any theories or other methods of enlightenment.

For now though consider how clever your eyes are. Being able to adjust to different types and amounts of light in order for you to be able to see.

On a slightly different note can you answer me this - if the light we see from the moon is merely a reflection of what is being radiated out from the sun why is it so captivating?

every cloud

How often do you see something that simply stops you in your tracks?

Feelings of awe, wonder, fascination, bewilderment...

scenes like these do it to me every time.

And it's always about the clouds.

speaking of colours...

I was once reliably informed that a certain TV series incorporated a lot of yellow into its shots in order to attribute a dream like atmosphere to its story. This was apparently due to there not being much occasion where yellow naturally features in the real world. Having remembered this at a time where I had a bit of waiting around to do recently I took the opportunity to look around and see if this was true. Here's what I saw. I'm not sure what conclusion I drew from this other than actually yellow is a fascinating colour to find naturally. If you're not looking for it then it can tend to blend in. Next to green it is incredibly organic. Once you begin focussing on it however it does seem to jump out at you from every angle.

So today then - have a look around you. What is it that's presenting itself to you in a manner that you may never have noticed before?

think of a colour...

Out in the gale force winds and the occasional rain you would think it near impossible to stop and take a moment especially when you factor in that you are floating in a canoe on a not-so-sheltered lake, but stop we did and I'm so glad. A colleague had asked "how do you 'get God' into an activity session?" It's not a straight forward formula and really, just as everyone's faith is their own so too does the sharing of that faith need to be individual. So, I asked the question back. How would you?

We stopped and considered the quandary meanwhile focussing on what was around us that we might tangibly be able to experience God in. A challenge given a long time ago reared it's head.

Try and think of an entirely new colour

Not a mix of two or more others, not a shade of an existing one but an entirely new colour. Attempting to do so causes my head to implode. I looked around me for inspiration and noticed just how many shades there are of green. Not just that but how each shade then takes on a slightly different appearance dependent on the time of day/type of day. My thoughts seemed to gather pace at an alarming rate which meant that I just needed to

stop

appreciate

allow myself to be in awe.

So go on - think of an entirely new colour and let me know where your imagination takes you.

season all change

What's your favourite season and why?

No doubt you'll soon work out mine but for now let's focus on the here and now. A short stroll to the shop this morning included this moment. The transitional time between one and another. Take a look at this picture - what do you see?

A changing of colour? A herald of what is to come or, like me, is there a stirring of memories that brings about excitement? I'm sure I am not alone when I say I'm full of anticipation at the thought of a chill in the air or the smell of rain. What is it that resides there inside of us? That awakens at a smell, a taste, a memory or a hope. Maybe it's just the thought that you could reign supreme when, against all Health and Safety advice, you obliterate your opponents in a much needed game of conkers.

Over to you. Get involved - what is your favourite season and why? Go for a walk - what do you see?

blue sky thinking

I think we can all agree that there are certain times in life where sitting inside, at a computer is not what you want to be doing. Today is one of those days. It's Friday for starters, a group of friends are out climbing and, to really rub it in, the sun is shining in a beautiful blue sky. What clouds there are seem to only add to the vast sense of breadth and depth of this panoramic view.

I love these days though. As frustrating as it might feel actually what it does is inspire me to dream big:

• what would I rather be doing?
• where would I rather be?
• who would I rather be with?

Well, today all I can think about is my unborn baby. I heard it's heartbeat yesterday. Coupled with the sun getting his hat on today, it brings home the awareness that I live somewhere on the scale between intergalactic and microscopic.

I'm sure we will revisit this idea soon though so, for now, enjoy that post work pub garden pint. You've earned it.